This Is Definetly....

.... a practice in perfectionist blogging.

But I'm not giving up. Life is just... screwy right now. As in, I'm screwing it up! But I'm working through as best I know how (which, admittedly, isn't very well!) and am hoping to be back up and running sooner rather then later!

In the meantime, enjoy a picture of my latest creation, which is a work in progress. I used an old cookie sheet and made some magnets for FLYthings I want to do each day. As I do them, I move them over! Any suggestions? I'm expecting at least some changes to come!

I'm Aliiiiiiive!!!

Just in case you were wondering. ;-)

So, the focus of my life, the Babysteps Challenge. I am LOVING it! It's keeping me focused on something, which right now is good. I'm kind of in 'withdrawal from everyone/everything' mode right now; not fun. But I guess this is the way I'm going to be grieving, so I am trying to let myself do that, while keeping it as healthy as possible.

OK, random tangent: I have the "timer" of my itouch set to quack like a duck and the "free text" part of it to moo like a cow. I wonder what that says about me?

Back to Flylady: Today was only 1 hot spot fire drill (on the steps!) and I didn't declutter more dresser drawers like I had hoped. BUT, I did get The Boy's room looking great and took a big chunk out of the girls' room. And no, I didn't do my inspiration page yet, but I figure that since tomorrow is to delete all old Flylady emails (OH MY GOODNESS THAT IS GOING TO BE AWFUL! I've been trying to read as many as I can but I seriously have over 300!) I'll be able to work on it a bit.

Cute story! I've been writing down the Flylady things I need to keep doing on the large mirror in my room with dry erase marker (mostly because it's so fun to draw on a mirror!!) and today I realized that my sweetie wrote me a little note by it! And so, of course, I went and wrote one on his mirror!

So, I think I know what I'm going to do with all of your wonderful blogs. (Tried Google Reader; even more overwhelming) I'm going to get a new de.lici.ous (or however you spell it) account JUST for you! Don't you feel special! You should because you are!!!

Alright, it's crazy late. I just wanted to drop in and ask you not to give up on me!! I'll get the hang of this, don't you worry!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Man, I Needed That....

It's a small thing, but such a great one!

I won something!! Over at the This Little Family blog! (I have a button at the bottom of my blog, check her out!) The prize is great: 4 Skoy cloths! (Give them a google!)

I need that because I am doing some grieving right now, and it's coming out as pushing people away. Not in a mean way, in a 'I just don't have the emotional energy to interact with people' kind of way. So, things like this blog, get-togethers, emails, phone calls etc have taken the back seat. I apologize, and hope it lifts soon!

One thing keeping me sane is the Flylady Challenge! It sounds nuts but for some reason, it's becoming my grounding point, my "constant" if you will!

But right now? I'm going to sign off. I hope to add more tonight, or at least try to check in once a day! And I would LOVE to hear how you are all doing!

(And the fact that I'm not letting all this cause me to throw in the towel on the blog thing? Wow. It just shows how far I've come!!!)

Shoes, Buttons, and the Voices In My Head

Well hello there!

FYI, if you have a blog, and your blog has a button, let me know! I'll be more then happy to add it to mine. (Except you'll be stuck at the bottom for now, I can't figure out how to move it up...)

Also, I'm going to change my settings so I have to approve comments, so thank you for your patience! That being said, I *am* removing the word verification.

So, I've done my 2nd night of Hot Spot attack! I chose to do the small table in the hallway, since it wasn't too bad and I want it to stay that way! I even had enough time to do most of the hallway which is a Hot Spot all by itself!!

I am having trouble with the shoes... I left them on to walk to get my daughter from school today! AYE! And then I just didn't put them on the rest of the day. But I'll be giving my sink a good shining when done here, and I have my clothes all ready for tomorrow!

SO, back to that Stinkin' Thinkin'... Here we go!

EDITOR'S NOTE: Much of my stinkin thinkin is pretty... well... MEAN! I'll try to give you the nicer version! I have to say, they are much better then when I first did this step many months ago!!! Let's call them Voice 1 (our villainess ) and Voice 2 (our heroine).

VOICE 1: You started again? Seriously? Are you like, a glutton for punishment? Do you LIKE to fail?

VOICE 2: You're such a strong woman, starting this again. This time, you'll DO IT!

VOICE 1: Ugh. You only have 5 minutes, and this room is TRASHED. Don't even bother. I mean, if you can't do it right, don't do it at all.

VOICE 2: OK, you only have 5 minutes. Let's do some now, so that's 5 minutes less that you'll have to do later!

VOICE 1: Your bedroom is trashed. Surprise surprise. What do you expect from a slob?

VOICE 2: OK, your bedroom got neglected a bit. Remember last time? It didn't take nearly as long as you thought to get it looking GREAT!

VOICE 1: And once again, you screwed up wearing your shoes. You can't even wear shoes right!

VOICE 2: Oops! Looks like something to focus on tomorrow. They say it takes at least 21 days for something to become a habit. The important thing is to keep trying!

VOICE 1: Accept the fact that you just can't do this.

VOICE 2: Says who? Is that a challenge?! I think it is!

So... there you have it! I am officially caught up with Baby Steps! How are YOU all doing?!

Back and FLYing!!

OK, it's late, so I'm just going to focus on the last few days of FLYing with Babysteps.

Oh. Wait. Before I do that... (Oh ha ha ha, stop laughing, I will get around to focusing on it in a minute! Sheeesh...)

Somebody asked about Big Tent. It's basically in an online group thing; sort of like Yahoo. Flylady has been using them instead of Yahoo for a bit now. Most of the emails are testimonials, with a daily "Flight Plan", notes from Marla (the FLYlady), and other little things. If you want little "missions" sent to you throughout the day (the way it was a few years ago) I suggest you follow her on Twitter by @THEFLYLADY.

Another tool (OK, OK, OK I know I said I would focus on the babystepping thing, I'm getting there!!) I love is the Flylady chat room! No need to register, just pick a "nickname" and head in! The ladies there are motivating and inspiring! I love to hop in close to TOTH (top of the hour) and BOTH (bottom of the hour) because then you can tell what you're going to do, get caught up with everyone "poof"ing to do it, and then come back 15 minutes later and brag/congratulate each other on doing it! Hop to http://www.flylady.net/radio/ and see what you think! (I'm Kiddos1138, so if you see me on there, say HI!)

First up, the postit note idea. Well, I did a little different. I took a dry erase marker to the mirror in my bedroom!!

Second is the Stinkin Thinkin down on paper. Well, that is coming up now. I was out of town at memorial services... NOT quite the place. But I'll do it right here, right now, after....

I share these pictures of my Hot Spot!! Featuring..... the top of my microwave!!!

BEFORE


AFTER








OK. No uber-drastic change. Heck, I could barely tell which was which on the tiny preview pictures on the computer. But THAT'S OK! It's better then it was, and that's all that matters! I'll just keep working at it, and soon it will be all maintenance!

Oh goodness. It's late.

I'm tired. And this is crazy long (SORRY).

Tomorrow I'll be back with just a short entry with my Stinkin' Thinkin'.

Because you all can see how well I focus.... ;-)

Odds & Ends

Oh goodness, I'm typing this to you at 11:22 PM, after an hour on the phone with my mom, after an over 2 hour long Board Meeting... I'm a bit of a wreck.

OK, a lot of a wreck. Turns out in his obituary they're going to list me as one of his children (he has a daughter from a previous marriage) and my kids as his grandkids (he has 3 biological). Tissues anyone?

And to top it all off, my left hand shift key only works if I hold down the very end. And guess what? You use your left hand shift key. A lot.

OK, so now it's 11:03 PM the next night. Oh yeah, getting lots of practice on letting go of perfectionism!

So, the Flylady Challenge! Today was Day 3, just doing what I've been doing, keeping the sink shiny and getting dressed to shoes. I'm doing fairly well, although I need to keep my shoes on more often. One problem with that... I tend to leave the house with them on!

Why is this a problem? You may remember in my last post, the ones I have for the house are HOT PINK. So, I almost wore them with a brown skirt and blouse today to my daughter's kindergarten screening. And I *did* where them to the chiropractor's appointment!

What's up next? THIS. Don't panic, it's just writing down those things (and just do it, please? Don't give me the "Oh, I can remember, I don't need to" baloney) and signing up for her emails HERE. Please do it, but remember, if you fall behind on emails, JUST DELETE THEM! OK, I don't, but you should!! :)

I also recommend following her on Twitter, and go HERE to download some old shows! And again, the chat room is a GREAT resource!

OK. Is this blog perfect? Far from it. Is it late? Oh yeah. Will I just publish? Yup. Look, I won't be here a lot the next few days, I need to go to the services, but I will be thinking of you all!

And if anyone has a good way to organize blogs so I can actually READ them, please please PLEASE let me know; I know a lot of you have some GREAT blogs out there, but blogger just has me overwhelmed with them!

Keep on FLYING!

Sad News and Pink Shoes

Oh goodness....

Yesterday I received news that a dear family friend - someone who has been a part of my life since I was 5 - had unexpectedly passed away.

Two weeks ago he was visiting and running around with my kids. And yesterday, my mother found him dead.

Initially, that was the worse part; knowing my mother had to be the one to find him. She had been getting worried when she couldn't get in touch with him, and by Monday night she knew something was wrong. She and his brother went into his house to check on him.

My parents had been divorced when I was about 2, and then my dad passed away when I was 11. I never saw him between then. And my mom never had a boyfriend. Well, maybe "Mr. Bob" was, I don't know the nature of that, I just know that as awful as this is for me, it has to be so much worse for her. Again, he's been a part of our lives for 26 years.

And then there was telling the kids. DS (2) doesn't understand... I do dread when he sees my mom, because invariably he asks "Where Bob?" DD (5) doesn't seem to quite understand, but she was all lovey and huggy and kissy after that, trying to make sure we were smiling. DD(7) understands... and perhaps that's the most heartbreaking of all. While it's not the first time she has been faced with a death of someone, this is the first person she truly KNEW and loved.

One thing we've had to stress is that it is NOT "normal" to fall asleep and die. (We're pretty sure it happened in his sleep, for which I'm grateful.) I don't want her to be afraid of that. But she sees it for what it is. "It's not fair Mommy... we didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

And that's yet another "worst part". The shock. It hasn't really hit. It will suddenly dawn on me in little pieces, but for the most part I'm still in shock. How can that happen? Please, if you're still reading this, think of someone you might be taking for granted in your life. Think if this were to happen to you, what would your biggest regret be? Now start thinking how you can rectify that.

Blah. I rambled. I'll post. Talk about a quick way to get over perfectionist blogging! I just needed to get it out, not in any particular order, not thought out, just... OUT THERE. Out of my head, even for just a little bit.

Besides... I'm wearing pink shoes! How can I not be OK? See, today is also Day 2 of the Flylady Chat Babysteps Challenge! And yes, it was a push to get dressed today. Yes, I'm moving in a fog.
But I also know I have 3 kids to care for. And so I decided to try to keep up with the challenge, and today's babystep is to get dressed... TO THE SHOES! So, I am. And oddly enough, while I could only find 1 of my 'houseshoes' for the past few months (really, they're just hot pink Walmart clearance canvas sneakers), I found the missing one this morning. So, I think I should keep plugging. Try to keep things "normal" as we grieve.

If I'm not around for a bit, it will be because of travels this weekend to go back "home". (I don't consider where I grew up "home", but that's another story for another post!) I don't even think I"ll go back and reread this, I don't want to overthink, just want this out there.

Please go give hugs to your loved ones, and don't forget to FLY!

Get Out Your Sunglasses...

'Cause these babies are SHINING!!!

And note, in the 1st picture, the bottoms are NOT "perfectly" dried/wiped... but that is OK! Progress, NOT perfection!

So... how are YOU all doing?